I am feeling overwhelming blessed by the outpouring of prayers, emails, Facebook love and comments on this blog. I'll never be able to say thank you enough or let you each know how much it truly means to me and my family. Everytime I opened another email today I literally felt a little stronger-definitely lifted me up!!! After reading the article re: not letting cancer go to waste-I know that one day I'll be able to repay all the wonderful love and blessings we are receiving from everyone by serving someone else that finds themselves in our shoes (darnit my babies are gonna find the cure for cancer tho!!!).
Everyone is asking how I am doing. Honestly I really don't feel "sick". I am getting tired alot more easily (I had been chalking that up to having a newborn but the lil wonderboy sleeps all night!!), am having mild cramping and some really uncomfortable lower back pain that has gotten a bit worse as the day has gone on. I am having increased urination (think 2nd trimester pregnancy potty trips) which is part of it. I am trying to drink as much water as possible to stay hydrated and mentally it helps-makes me think I'm flushing out all the UCK as Bella calls nasty stuff LOL
I'm pooped so I will work on some more personal shout outs to the awesome people we have walking with us. HUGE hugs to my mama for being here today and putting up with me and my energetic children (and my mounds of dirty laundry)!!!
Monday, April 6, 2009
Oncologist Appt Scheduled
YAY!!! Got the oncologist appt scheduled for this Thursday @ 2:15pm. I will be seeing Randall Hightower (http://www.wregional.com/body.cfm?id=78&action=detail&ref=887), a gynecological oncologist at the Jonelle Hunt Women's Center affiliated with Washington Regional Medical Center in Fayetteville.
Random Facts
There are two main types of cancer of the cervix; each one develops from different tissue types. The most common (about 80 percent to 90 percent) are squamous cell carcinomas. The other 10 percent to 20 percent are adenocarcinomas.
Squamous cell carcinoma develops in the lining of the cervix.
Treatment options are the same regardless if a cervical cancer is squamous or adenocarcinoma.
Cystoscopy and Proctoscopy
If advanced cancer is diagnosed and your doctor suspects the cancer may have spread beyond the cervix, a cytoscopy or proctoscopy may be done using a lighted tube to view the inside of the bladder (cystoscopy) or the anus, rectum, and lower colon (proctoscopy).
Imaging
To learn more about the extent of disease and suggest a course of treatment, the doctor may order some of the following imaging tests:
Chest X-ray: This is a picture of the chest that shows your heart, lungs, airway, blood vessels and lymph nodes. A chest X-ray can often show whether cancer has spread to the lungs.
Computed tomography (CT) scan: This diagnostic test uses an X-ray machine and a computer to create detailed pictures of the body, including 3-D images. It is used to detect disease outside the cervix or abnormal organ structure. CT scans also can be used to guide a needle into a mass if a biopsy is needed.
Magnetic resonance imaging (MRI): This diagnostic test uses magnetic fields and radio waves to create computerized pictures of the pelvis and abdomen. You may have to be placed in a tube, which can feel confining to people who have a fear of enclosed spaces.
Treatment for Cervical Cancer
Treatment of cervical cancer will depend on a number of factors, including:
The stage of the cancer
The size of the tumor
The patient's desire to have children
The patient's age and overall health
Surgery for Large, Cervical Cancer Lesion
The following surgical procedures may be used for larger cervical cancer lesions (usually up to 4 to 5 centimeters in width), but only if the cancer is all within the cervical tissue. If the cancer has spread beyond the cervix, doctors will usually recommend chemotherapy in combination with radiation therapy.
Trachealectomy: This procedure removes the cervix and surrounding tissue but not the uterus. It is used for women who have a larger cancerous area but wish to preserve the ability to have children. The procedure may include removal of lymph nodes. Typically patients considered for this procedure have to have tumors less than 2 centimeters in size.
Radical hysterectomy: The surgeon removes the cervix, uterus, part of the vagina and the tissues surrounding the cervix called the parametria. At the same time, the surgeon also removes nearby lymph nodes. Depending on a woman's age and the size of the tumor, she may also have a bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy (removal of the ovaries and fallopian tubes).
Radiation Therapy
Radiation therapy is used for cancers that have spread beyond the cervix (II, III, or IV) or very large lesions (larger than 4 centimeters).Radiation therapy uses high-energy X-rays or other types of radiation to kill cancer cells or shrink the tumor. Radiation therapy is used instead of surgery in most cases. However, it is sometimes necessary after surgery if it is discovered that the cancer has spread outside the cervix, or to reduce the risk that a cancer will come back after surgery.There are two types of radiation therapy: external and internal.
External radiation therapy uses a machine outside the body to send radiation toward the cervical cancer. Internal radiation therapy uses a small amount of radioactive material that is delivered directly to the tumor using implants.Internal radiation therapy implants are inserted through the vagina into the cervix, where they are placed next to the tumor while the patient is under anesthesia. The implants stay in place for a few days.
Chemotherapy
Chemotherapy uses drugs to stop the growth of cancer cells either by killing the cells or by stopping them from dividing. Chemotherapy can be given by mouth or injected into a vein or muscle. In most cases, it is given to a patient through a vein during an outpatient visit using systemic chemotherapy. The drugs enter the bloodstream and can reach cancer cells throughout the body.
Regional chemotherapy is chemotherapy is placed directly into an organ or a body cavity, such as the abdomen. Almost all cervical cancer patients in good medical condition and receiving radiation for stage IIA or higher will be offered chemotherapy in addition to radiation therapy.
Women with endometrial, cervical and ovarian cancers have the option of treating their disease with laparoscopic surgery, a minimally invasive procedure with advantages over traditional surgery, experts say.
“Laparoscopic surgery offers patients the benefit of faster recovery, less pain medication and quicker return to daily activities without compromising outcome and prognosis," says Pedro Ramirez, M.D., an assistant professor in M. D. Anderson’s Department of Gynecologic Oncology and director of Minimally Invasive Surgery.
Laparoscopic surgery is currently performed in the treatment of gynecologic cancers in just a few of the country’s cancer centers. “It provides patient safety that is comparable with traditional “open” surgery,” Ramirez says. Laparoscopy’s role in treating cancer has grown by leaps and bounds as more surgeons have become experienced at performing the procedure.
The laparoscope is a long, slender tube with a tiny camera on the end. An incision about an inch in length is made to insert the laparoscope, which gives surgeons a view of the treatment area. Other incisions, tiny enough to be covered with a Band-Aid, are made to insert miniature surgical instruments that can remove a cancerous tumor or an entire diseased organ, in some cases.
M. D. Anderson performs laparoscopic surgeries for:
Cervical cancer – Cervical cancer patients have the option of laparoscopic radical hysterectomy and staging. (Staging involves tests and procedures that determine the extent of the cancer.) Patients can be discharged from the hospital, potentially, the first day after surgery. Ramirez says that the “length of stay for a traditional abdominal radical hysterectomy usually is four to five days, and the recovery period is usually four to six weeks.”
Laparoscopy also can be used to evaluate spread of locally advanced cervical cancers to the lymph nodes. Besides removing malignant lymph nodes, the procedure allows radiation oncologists to determine the treatment field for radiation therapy with higher accuracy, which may ultimately reduce the risk of cancer recurrence.
When cervical cancer is detected early it is one of the most successfully treatable cancers. The five-year relative survival rate of localized cervical cancer is 92%, according to the American Cancer Society.
Squamous cell carcinoma develops in the lining of the cervix.
Treatment options are the same regardless if a cervical cancer is squamous or adenocarcinoma.
Cystoscopy and Proctoscopy
If advanced cancer is diagnosed and your doctor suspects the cancer may have spread beyond the cervix, a cytoscopy or proctoscopy may be done using a lighted tube to view the inside of the bladder (cystoscopy) or the anus, rectum, and lower colon (proctoscopy).
Imaging
To learn more about the extent of disease and suggest a course of treatment, the doctor may order some of the following imaging tests:
Chest X-ray: This is a picture of the chest that shows your heart, lungs, airway, blood vessels and lymph nodes. A chest X-ray can often show whether cancer has spread to the lungs.
Computed tomography (CT) scan: This diagnostic test uses an X-ray machine and a computer to create detailed pictures of the body, including 3-D images. It is used to detect disease outside the cervix or abnormal organ structure. CT scans also can be used to guide a needle into a mass if a biopsy is needed.
Magnetic resonance imaging (MRI): This diagnostic test uses magnetic fields and radio waves to create computerized pictures of the pelvis and abdomen. You may have to be placed in a tube, which can feel confining to people who have a fear of enclosed spaces.
Treatment for Cervical Cancer
Treatment of cervical cancer will depend on a number of factors, including:
The stage of the cancer
The size of the tumor
The patient's desire to have children
The patient's age and overall health
Surgery for Large, Cervical Cancer Lesion
The following surgical procedures may be used for larger cervical cancer lesions (usually up to 4 to 5 centimeters in width), but only if the cancer is all within the cervical tissue. If the cancer has spread beyond the cervix, doctors will usually recommend chemotherapy in combination with radiation therapy.
Trachealectomy: This procedure removes the cervix and surrounding tissue but not the uterus. It is used for women who have a larger cancerous area but wish to preserve the ability to have children. The procedure may include removal of lymph nodes. Typically patients considered for this procedure have to have tumors less than 2 centimeters in size.
Radical hysterectomy: The surgeon removes the cervix, uterus, part of the vagina and the tissues surrounding the cervix called the parametria. At the same time, the surgeon also removes nearby lymph nodes. Depending on a woman's age and the size of the tumor, she may also have a bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy (removal of the ovaries and fallopian tubes).
Radiation Therapy
Radiation therapy is used for cancers that have spread beyond the cervix (II, III, or IV) or very large lesions (larger than 4 centimeters).Radiation therapy uses high-energy X-rays or other types of radiation to kill cancer cells or shrink the tumor. Radiation therapy is used instead of surgery in most cases. However, it is sometimes necessary after surgery if it is discovered that the cancer has spread outside the cervix, or to reduce the risk that a cancer will come back after surgery.There are two types of radiation therapy: external and internal.
External radiation therapy uses a machine outside the body to send radiation toward the cervical cancer. Internal radiation therapy uses a small amount of radioactive material that is delivered directly to the tumor using implants.Internal radiation therapy implants are inserted through the vagina into the cervix, where they are placed next to the tumor while the patient is under anesthesia. The implants stay in place for a few days.
Chemotherapy
Chemotherapy uses drugs to stop the growth of cancer cells either by killing the cells or by stopping them from dividing. Chemotherapy can be given by mouth or injected into a vein or muscle. In most cases, it is given to a patient through a vein during an outpatient visit using systemic chemotherapy. The drugs enter the bloodstream and can reach cancer cells throughout the body.
Regional chemotherapy is chemotherapy is placed directly into an organ or a body cavity, such as the abdomen. Almost all cervical cancer patients in good medical condition and receiving radiation for stage IIA or higher will be offered chemotherapy in addition to radiation therapy.
Women with endometrial, cervical and ovarian cancers have the option of treating their disease with laparoscopic surgery, a minimally invasive procedure with advantages over traditional surgery, experts say.
“Laparoscopic surgery offers patients the benefit of faster recovery, less pain medication and quicker return to daily activities without compromising outcome and prognosis," says Pedro Ramirez, M.D., an assistant professor in M. D. Anderson’s Department of Gynecologic Oncology and director of Minimally Invasive Surgery.
Laparoscopic surgery is currently performed in the treatment of gynecologic cancers in just a few of the country’s cancer centers. “It provides patient safety that is comparable with traditional “open” surgery,” Ramirez says. Laparoscopy’s role in treating cancer has grown by leaps and bounds as more surgeons have become experienced at performing the procedure.
The laparoscope is a long, slender tube with a tiny camera on the end. An incision about an inch in length is made to insert the laparoscope, which gives surgeons a view of the treatment area. Other incisions, tiny enough to be covered with a Band-Aid, are made to insert miniature surgical instruments that can remove a cancerous tumor or an entire diseased organ, in some cases.
M. D. Anderson performs laparoscopic surgeries for:
Cervical cancer – Cervical cancer patients have the option of laparoscopic radical hysterectomy and staging. (Staging involves tests and procedures that determine the extent of the cancer.) Patients can be discharged from the hospital, potentially, the first day after surgery. Ramirez says that the “length of stay for a traditional abdominal radical hysterectomy usually is four to five days, and the recovery period is usually four to six weeks.”
Laparoscopy also can be used to evaluate spread of locally advanced cervical cancers to the lymph nodes. Besides removing malignant lymph nodes, the procedure allows radiation oncologists to determine the treatment field for radiation therapy with higher accuracy, which may ultimately reduce the risk of cancer recurrence.
When cervical cancer is detected early it is one of the most successfully treatable cancers. The five-year relative survival rate of localized cervical cancer is 92%, according to the American Cancer Society.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Don't Waste Your Cancer
I was sent the link to this article and its amazing...
http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/TasteAndSee/ByDate/2006/1776_Dont_Waste_Your_Cancer/
http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/TasteAndSee/ByDate/2006/1776_Dont_Waste_Your_Cancer/
Illness can sharpen your awareness of how thoroughly God has already and always been at work in every detail of your life.WOW-see my previous post and you will definitely see evidence of this already in my life.
You will waste your cancer if you spend too much time reading about
cancer and not enough time reading about God.Definitely agreeing with this one!! Yes knowledge most definitely gives me one up on the cancer but God gives me so much strength!
My Attitude
If you would have told me just a week ago that I would have cancer and asked me how I thought I'd be dealing-I would have told you that I'd be a basketcase and would never leave bed. But I can honestly say that from the moment I was diagnosed, God has just wrapped me in a blanket of blessings making me constantly aware of the fact that I CAN be joyous even in the rottenest of situations. Yeah I'm not HAPPY that I have cancer-it downright sucks and pisses me off BUT I'm surrounded by enormous blessings:
- God blessed us with two amazing, beautiful, smart, hilarious, awesome kids before we were handed this diagnosis. I will have to undergo a radical hysterectomy-basically a lifetime guaranteed birth control. I originally wanted my tubes tied but my OB "forgot" (YES I have changed doctors!!!)
- God got us back in church. He did it through not so great circumstances (Ben's parent's divorce) but it forced us to see that there was something missing in our marriage and in our family and that was God. I started my relationship with God in January 2008-ironically the same month that my Nana went to Heaven. God knew I would need my greatest friend of all during that month, that year and now more than ever.
- God has blessed us with the most amazingly supportive family ever!!! When Ben was medically discharged from the Air Force we were stationed in Italy. When we got back to the States we considered moving to different places but ultimately decided to stay in NWA so we could be near our families (thank you, God!!). My mom, a fellow cancer butt kicker, is less than 5 minutes away, as is my Papa and Ben's mom. My mom is taking off work this week just to be at the house for anything we need-take care of the kids when all the last minute appts and testing get scheduled, do stuff around the house, change a diaper when I'm in the middle of a breakdown, etc. Ben's Aunt Joyce and Aunt Carolyn have already said they will be here whenever we need them for however long we need them (waiting to get the gameplan set but I'm thinking it would be best whenever I come home from the hospital-we'll see). My bestest friend in the whole wide world is finally gonna prove to my husband that she is NOT an imaginary friend and come up to be with us (again waiting on the gameplan but I'm thinking it'd be nice to have her here during my hospital stay so that Ben and my mom can have breaks, and her sense of humor and beautiful Christian soul will keep me going!!!). My aunt and cousin are coming this week and we have all kinds of fun stuff planned-my cousin is closer to me than any sister could ever be!!
- God has blessed us with an awesome church family. Fellowship scared me at first like it does alot of people because its HUGE. But I've learned that hugeness is just like Texas-just means everything is bigger and better!! We have had an outpouring of love and support and sooooo many prayers. We love our community group!!!
- God has blessed me with the most awesome guardian angel, my Nana. I can tell you right now without a shadow of a doubt that she has been all up in God's face since Friday wiggling her finger and telling him just how its gonna work!!! I'm incredibly blessed to have her in my corner and while there have been many moments when dangit I just want a Nana hug or her sweet little hands to be holding mine-I know having her fight my case in Heaven is exactly what I need:)
- God has blessed me with the absolutely hands down greatest husband EVER!!!! I would not want to go thru this with anyone else by my side. He is my rock, my best friend, my shoulder, and the boy knows how to spoon!!! He lays in bed and finds Bible verses for me to draw strength from, makes me laugh when I need it most and just holds me and listens when I finally let my walls down.
I am human, I DO have my moments when I let my walls down and just bawl my eyes out-did it in church this morning and I think I freaked the lady out next to me LOL I try not to let my mind be overcome with fear-I REFUSE to even fathom the possible "d" word outcome. It ain't happening, its not an option and no, I'm NOT in denial, I just refuse to go out that way.
In case you didn't get my loverly SHOCK of an email, here is what I've asked people to promise:
-you will not treat me like an invalid
-you will not walk on eggshells when you are around me
-you will not stop talking when I walk in the room
-you will not avoid the subject around me
-you will not make me your "friend who has cancer" or my husband "that guy whose wife has cancer".... I'm Danielle and I just happen to have cancer-
if you or anyone you know want the gory details, I promise to post them in all their beauty on this blog ... please understand there will be days when everyone gets an express ticket to voicemail, please don't take it personally-I love you all so very very very much but some days I'm just not gonna be a nice person to talk to
-that no matter what it takes, no matter how long I am in the hospital or stuck in bed, my babies get to see me EVERY single day and get to have a mama hug and kiss
-you won't have a look of pity in your eyes and you won't come up to me and say, "I'm sorry" (Please feel free to say, "This just really sucks" LOL)
A sweet friend of mine gave me the reality check I needed-you are each going to be affected by this differently, so you will each react differently and each have your own way of dealing with it. I cannot tell you not to cry or not to be angry at God or not to do whatever it is that YOU need to do to be ok with this. As a sexual assault survivor and child of divorce, I know everyone deals with things differently, in their own unique ways, on their own timeline, that no one else can dictate. We have to do whatever it is to survive, so I PROMISE to not be critical of how you deal (ok if you are mean to me or my family I might have to hurt you but otherwise you are good to go LOL). I just want to be surrounded my positive thoughts, positive attitudes, positive spirits. Its ok to cry in front of me or be pissed-BE 100% YOU!! But please please please, if you are having a down day, a day full of fear, please leave the pity party at the door. I hate hearing people's voices on the phone and can hear that its just full of "oh this is the horriblest thing ever, wo is me, sad sad sad sad". Don't be fake but don't think you have to be sad or miserable on my part-I'm sure as heck not gonna be!!! yeah it sucks, yeah I wouldn't wish it on anyone in this world, and yeah its gonna be the stinkingest hardest battle ever and I sure as heck am not looking forward to it but that doesn't mean I have to live like I'm dying (PS-cuz I'm NOT) or wallow (for Jan... waller LOL) in bed and mope. I know myself-I know that I put up my walls and push people away... well thats not gonna make anything better so I'm gonna try my dangedest (holy canoly my southern roots are shining thru when I get fiesty!!) to not default to that kind of defense mechanism. I promise I won't put on a happy face or mask my way thru this either. I AM trying to not cry in front of Bella mainly because she is going thru this funky dramatic stage where she is uber empathetic (she sees a cartoon character cry and she screams, "OH SAD!!" and fake cries, or when a little animal is lost from its mama on Diego she gets all dramatic and sad and mopey) but otherwise I'm just gonna be me-it probably isn't gonna be pretty at times but its all I can give:)
k time to get ready for community group-CIAO!
My Babies
If anyone has any resources, ideas, tips, websites, books, etc. on how to handle Bella through this journey it would be GREATLY appreciated!!! Another God blessing-I was on bedrest for most of my third trimester with Hunter so Bella has already seen me in and out of the hospital a few times and has had to deal with the fact that sometimes Mama can't pick her up or can't wrestle, play, get out of bed (though I do NOT plan on laying around in bed unless I'm instructed to by my doctors), etc. We plan on telling her that Mama has a "boo-boo" and that the doctors are going to give me lots of good medicine and band-aids and then Mama will be better-basically language and concepts she can relate to. She just had an adenoidectomy and tubes put in her ears so she isn't exactly fond of doctors or medicine at the moment LOL When my mom had thyroid cancer when I was young, we weren't allowed to visit her in the hospital (not by her choice so don't go bashing my mama or I'll poke you), so it has been my vow since the moment I got diagnosed that no matter what, above all else, my children will see me every single day and get a mama hug and kiss. I want them to know that yeah mama is sick but she is still here, she is gonna be ok and their ornery lil selves are stuck with me! And yet another God blessing-Hunter isn't too fond of breastfeeding. Bella REFUSED to take a bottle so I was her human pacifier for 15 months. Hunter is too dang busy checking everything out around him that it is VERY hard to get him to breastfeed, so he is now down to 1-2 times per day and that is only if I get him when he first wakes up and is super hungry-when he'll actually sacrifice a few minutes of being uber observant to eat. So one less stressor-don't have to worry about weaning him.
I'm literally thanking God nearly every moment that he blessed us with two beautiful children before my diagnosis since I have been handed a lifetime guaranteed birth control:)
I'm literally thanking God nearly every moment that he blessed us with two beautiful children before my diagnosis since I have been handed a lifetime guaranteed birth control:)
Background Story
In 2000, before I had even graduated high school, I had an abnormal pap smear that showed dysplasia. A colposcopy was performed to remove the abnormal cells and everything came back "normal". Fastforward 8 years (8 years of normal pap smears), I'm 18 weeks pregnant with my 2nd child and I'm bleeding (the scary heavy bright red blood that you call the doctor on). My OB found polyp on my cervix but said it was nothing to worry about and that I could expect some bleeding throughout the pregnancy and it would eventually go away on its own. I did continue having bleeding off and on. Our awesome son, Hunter, was born 13 days before Christmas. At my 6 week post-partum appointment in February 2009 my OB did not make any notice of the polyp and my pap smear came back normal. I continued to have post-partum bleeding which would range from really light brown to huge red clots. I chalked it up to the fact that Hunter wasn't breastfeeding as much as Bella had so my hormones were out of whack. When I was still bleeding on Hunter's 3 month birthday I decided to make an appointment with a different GYN (for numerous reasons which I'm sure I'll rant about at some point in my journal). She found the polyp right off the bat during the exam and said it was definitely the culprit for my bleeding. She removed a large piece of it to send off to pathology and put some silver nitrate on my cervix to stop the bleeding. I made an appt to follow up in 2wks so she could give me the path results and check on the bleeding-put me on the mini-pill in case it was hormone related. The two days following that appointment I bled very heavily and had increased pain. I finally called on Friday to ask if this was to be expected or if I needed to come back in. She didn't have the path results back so she said she would call me back after lunch. She called after lunch to see if I was still bleeding-yes-come in so we can try something else to get it to stop. I got there at 4:30. The lab faxed over the report at 4:37. I knew when she walked in with the head GYN that it was cancer. I have squamous cell cervical carcinoma, moderately to poorly differentiated. Squamous cells make up 90% of all cervical cancers. Poorly differentiated is Grade 3-Grade 3 cancers grow and spread very quickly. They are considered "aggressive." We don't know what stage yet or if it has spread. Luckily there is a gynecological oncologist in Fayetteville and they will be calling him first thing on Monday morning to get me in ASAP. At this point all we know is that I will be having a radical hysterectomy (we are totally at peace with this since we have been blessed with two amazing children!!).
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