Hunter's 1st Bday, Christmas & Snow

Yep-behind again!! Instead of playing catch up, I'll just post the most recent pics:) Hunter turned 1 in December-still cannot believe my baby is letting go of furniture and walking, eating real food, and having a blast with his big sissy!!! We had a white Christmas-and LOTS of snow days!! It was definitely a holiday full of thanks and blessings-so happy to be healthy and able to spend every day with my family.

My silly guys

My name is Bella and I have OCD-seriously she had to take breaks while opening gifts so she could gather up the bags and trash LOL

Snuggling with Uncle Popeye

Smart guy figuring out puzzles (seriously, he amazes me!)

Answered prayers~they LOVE to play together!!!

Guilty?

Dr. May

Playing with Nana

Wasn't too sure what to think of the cupcake (definitely my texture yuk kiddo)

EWWWW get this junk off my fingers NOW!!!!

Ahhh much better with a spoon:)

YUM crumbs

Sissy on the otherhand just digs right in

Cheeser in her dress from Aunt 'Net (THANK YOU!!!)

LOVE my lil lady in her snow angel princessy dress ($5 @ Target WOOO)

Love my Cheeser Bean

Merry Christmas!!!

Santa visit (you can see Bella's reaction LOL)

We took a ride on the carousel after seeing Santa

Daddy's girls

Christmas Eve Service @ Fellowship-lil glowstick elves

Christmas Eve at Papa's (Bella decorated the tree)

Chubs showing Uncle Buddah how to work his new camera

His general reaction to Christmas this year LOL

Babies checking out the white stuff


Playing in the ball pit-they both had a blast!

My sweet Santa baby growing up

Lil Snow bunny

Being silly on Christmas at Papa's

Our Southern Blizzard

My People-loves you!!

My guys

T-R-O-U-B-L-E

Missy's hair when she wakes up in the morning-seriously have to tame that mess every morning!!!

Mr. Man decided to climb up and sit like a big boy with Sissy (eating crackers with the Doras). Bella said, "Mama! Look, brother is a big boy now!! I'm so proud!" LOL

His favorite sneaky spot under the end table

Best buds

Gamers chilling with old school NES (one of our snow days-we had a karoake dance fest and old school NES Duck Hunt)

True Gamer-has a device for each hand LOL

Latest

Quick Update: I went for my first mammogram last week (highly recommended since I am now on hormone replacement therapy from my hysterectomy). Got called back in this week for a follow-up on a "spot". Was shown the "spot"-about 5mm pea size on the left side, showed up again on the 2nd mammogram. An ultrasound was performed to rule out clogged/inflamed/dilated ducts, and all of that was ruled out-it is a solid mass. The radiologist said, "You are so young and it looks benign so we can watch it for 6 months." I said, "We will do no such thing! I was too young for cervical cancer, had a normal pap smear 2 months before being diagnosed and it looked benign then too, so NO we will NOT wait and watch it, we will get it out of there faster than pronto!" Saw the breast surgeon this morning and we will be doing surgery (outpatient) on January 14th.

This will be an excisional biopsy which removes the entire mass or abnormal area, as well as a surrounding margin of normal-looking breast tissue. They will use wire localization since it is a small lump that is hard to find by touch. First they'll use the mammogram machine to map out the mass and then they will insert a needle with a thin wire directly to the mass so the surgeon can get right to the mass and remove the entire thing. I'll have local anesthesia and something good to make me not care that they are cutting into me:) Then more of the waiting game for the path report-hopefully by that following Monday or Tuesday to find out whether its cancer.

The surgeon was awesome and I really liked him. He goes to our church and everyone I've talked to highly recommends him. He was very proactive and supportive of getting this done ASAP and not doing the "wait and see" approach as the radiologist had suggested. He was totally understanding of me wanting things done and of how I felt-BIG brownie points!! He actually tried to get the surgery done tomorrow but we wouldn't have had time to do the labs and the first opening was the 14th. He said there is only about a 10% chance that if it is cancer that it is metastasized from my cervical cancer, which would mean this is a whole different, separate, 2nd cancer. But all of that is to be determined and depends on whether its even cancer. Hopefully its not and we don't have to worry about all that junk.

So next week (Wednesday, 1/6) I have my routine GYN oncologist appt with a more extensive exam per my radiation oncologist because of some stuff still going on that should already be resolved if it were after effects of radiation (not pretty details so just pray it's nothing and something simple to fix and I won't have to torture with the info LOL). Then Friday I have my pre-op lab junk. And surgery is the 14th.

Please pray the obvious-that is not cancer, that its only in one spot and can be easily removed and have clear margins. Please also pray for my family, they are just as scared as me (though they are braver and actually show their fear, I just keep mine nice and bottled up and put on my game face), and especially on the 14th as it is also the 2 year anniversary of my Nana going to Heaven.

Ben told me last night that he is gearing up for the next round-I hate that he has to gear up for anything!! I'm ready for smooth sailing but I know THAT is not what God promised-he promised he would be with us every step of the way, and he has. I know he only gives us what he knows we can handle but I'm thinking we need to have a nice lil powwow and reassess just how much he thinks I can handle!! I know I can do this and be his lil warrior all the way through, I'm just sick of my family having to go through it too. I had a lil chat with him last night as I was attempting to doze off and just totally realized that apparently he has something super duper awesome up his sleeve for me, some kind of amazing plan that somehow involves cancer, and I guess I didn't catch on the last time so he is giving me another go around. Just gonna pray for an open heart, mind, ears and eyes so I can get it this time!!

You've Come A Long Way, Baby Girl

Sometimes I feel like that's what God is saying to me lately:) AND I LOVE that reminder!!

This weekend we got to pack up the kiddos (and their entourage) and head to Little Rock for Ben's cousin's wedding. Bella was the flower girl:) She did pretty awesome for her first gig-made it about 3/4 down the aisle before she saw Mama and decided to detour it straight for our pew LOL She did actually toss flowers out before that so she did better than me my first time LOL

I remember when I was first diagnosed and my cousin wanted me and my mom to come to a Taylor Swift concert with her in Chicago (unfortunately same weekend as the wedding). All I could think was, "OCTOBER?!?! Seriously, you think I'm gonna make it to October and actually feel human enough to not only make a trip to Chicago but do a concert?!?!" I told myself that I'd be happy if I was healthy enough to enjoy Christmas with my family.

So, it is October and here I am. I drove the whole way down and back-no my husband is not evil and did not force me to, I WANTED to and I was ABLE to:) I was ABLE to enjoy all the festivities and had a blast with my baby girl (and Mr. Man too). And didn't feel the need for a nap the entire weekend-HUGE for me!!!

It is still so hard to imagine that only 6 months ago I was hearing "it's cancer" for the first time, was going to all these insane appointments that I never imagined myself having to face, scheduling surgery, wondering when radiation would start and how long it would last, fearing they would find the cancer had spread, and just wanting my body to cooperate enough so I could enjoy every single second with my family, and praying this horrible disease did not have a negative impact on their lives (at least nothing they'll remember LOL). It seems like a lifetime ago that I was having to face this huge fight. But God never left my side for one minute-he was there for all those appointments, watched over the surgeons, was in the treatment room every afternoon (and even sent a few awesome cancer posse chicas my way to run into every afternoon), and took every cell of cancer out of my body. My family has been so blessed with all the prayers, emails, cards, meals, visits from complete strangers (AND people we love dearly LOL), and I know that is what kept us going.

It is scary, it does completely bring your world to a halt, and make you question all sorts of things that you never imagined would enter your mind, but in the end, its made me soooo much stronger and brought me a million times closer to my family, friends, and definitely God. Is it crazy to be thankful for cancer? I'm not thankful for all that we had to endure, but I'm thankful for the end product:)

My cheesy babies :)

Daddy with Hunter and Tinkerbelle

Daddy and his girl

Me and the flower girl:)

These crazy people that I live with decided to have a Parade LOL:)

HUGE Pic Update

LOL so I think just about every blog post lately has been "HUGE Pic Update" because I'm such a slacker-actually I'm just really uber busy finally getting to just love life and have fun with my babies:) Not gonna make any promises that I'll do a better job and post more often, that way you can get all excited when I surprise you!

Sweet munchkins ready for church

Bella's first field trip was to the Fire Station-she LOVED it!!!

Yep 3 going on 13, and boy does she have it down pat!!

Love my Bub!

Sweet Chubs pressing his face against the window (gotta love how its COVERED in baby finger prints LOL)

This is his favorite spot

My lil performer (Hunter is clapping LOL such a good brother!)

Gonna be a karoake star!!!

Chubs thinking he is hot stuff:)

LOVE my babies playing together!!! (fast forward about 5 minutes and she has managed to clobber him and he is bawling LOL)

Bella discovered her fishing pole in the garage so she decided she needed to "gold fish" in the bird bath LOL CRAZY imagination, seriously dunno where she gets it?!?!

Guess she is checking out all the fish

"CAUGHT ONE!!!"

Cheesy man!! (Aunt Carolyn-like my padding job so he can fit in the swing?)

His 2nd fav spot

Love me some Chub curls!

Ok seriously scary but check out the toofers, and those blue eyes are gonna break some hearts!!

Aunt 'Net-Bella LOVES her foam bubble spray LOL

Don King, eat your heart out!!

Bestest friends for life!!! I think Hunter has taken claim of Tinkerbelle-they are HILARIOUS together!!