Sunday, June 28, 2009

Pictures Galore;)

Usually I do a major picture update whenever my camera gets too full on our family blog but decided to share here:)

Weird random pic.... this is one of my radiation treatment stickers-they use it to mark where the lines have to match up so they can zap me in the exact same spots each time. I thought it was neat that this one looks like a cross so I HAD to take a pic and share:)

Bella is sooooo enthused to have her pic taken LOL

My sweet babies


Me and Hunter-I love my smiley man:)

Sweet Chubs

Bella and her bandana (cut off shirt sleeve from Daddy's shirt LOL)

Lil Miss Coolness herself

Kiddos getting ready for church

Cheeser playing on Mama's bed

Kodak moment- NICELY playing together

Hot shot

Seriously, how can you not love this lil man?

Apparently he thought that was quite funny


Ooops fell down!

Friday, June 26, 2009

28th Bday Wish

Ok so those of you that *really* know me, know that my birthday is not until Thanksgiving. But shhuuuusssshhhh-just go along with me here:) Yes, I have a birthday coming up. No, it's not one of the BIG ones (got a FEW more years LOL). But I have a BIG wish! My wish is not just for me, but for everyone who has been, or probably will be touched by cancer.

I am the team captain of NWA Cancer Warriors-one of the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life teams for the Rogers Relay this August 14-15. I am hoping to get tons of awesome people (YOU) to join my team so we can have the biggest and bestest team on the track!! Our team's goal for this event is $5,000-and I know with you on the team, we can do it!!

The Relay is a team event filled with fun, food and friendship, surrounded by people of all ages and backgrounds, joined together to honor cancer survivors and remember loved ones who lost their battle. Cancer survivors (in my opinion, this definition fits you as soon as you are diagnosed with cancer!! No waiting for "remission" here!) are honored in the opening ceremony survivor lap. Another beautiful part of the Relay is the Luminaria Ceremony which is the candle lighting ceremony of hope in honor of or in memory of family members and friends.

Because the Relay is a 12-hour event (August 14th 7pm to August 15th 7am), each team is asked to have a representative on the track at all times during the event-including overnight. I'm screaming, "CAMP OUT TIME!!" We'll have sleeping bags, tons of sugary food to keep you awake, and maybe even a kiddy pool if its super hot so we can cool off:) You are NOT required to be there the entire 12 hours. We'll have each person sign up for a time slot and you'll only need to be there for your designated time, unless you just wanna hang out:) The survivor dinner is at 6pm, Opening Ceremonies start at 7pm, Luminaria Ceremony is at 9:30pm, and Closing Ceremonies at 6am.

Once you sign up, you will have your own Participant Relay Center online where you create your own personal Relay page and can send emails out to everyone you know to recruit or ask for people to support you. There is also a great Incentive Program for your fundraising efforts:)

To get started, register online by clicking HERE. If you are not interested in being part of the team, please consider supporting me by clicking HERE.

Cancer touches so many people in our lives-I've been a witness to that during my time of kicking cancer's booty-it affects every person in your life. Relay for Life is a great way to help fight this terrible disease. I greatly appreciate you considering joining me at the Relay, especially as part of the NWA Cancer Warriors. If you would like more information about the Relay, how it works, how to become a part of our team, or anything else, please let me know.


Sunday, June 21, 2009

Bella Bean's 3rd Bday Party

We've decided to just have a party for family since it will be only a couple of days after my last radiation treatment. We're having a puppy party!!! Ben and I are going to get a puppy for Bella's bday. We'll be getting estimates from fencing companies and Lowe's this week to see how much a fence is going to cost. I found an Igloo dog house on Craigslist for half price so I jumped on it and its now in the backyard:) I will post more of a bday wish list later.


Cancer Resources

So everytime I see a prayer request fly by for someone recently diagnosed with cancer, they become my new best friend. I know, I'm weird-blame it on the radiation:) But I am such a relational person that I know, for me at least, when I'm going thru something and have someone to talk to that is going/has gone through the same thing-wow its awesome!! Just knowing you aren't alone and knowing what you are feeling/thinking is "normal" and that you WILL survive!!!

So an excerpt of something I wrote to a recent fellow Cancer Butt Kickin Warrior Princess:

I was diagnosed with cervical cancer on April 3rd, underwent a radical
hysterectomy (means they remove EVERYTHING including parts of the vagina and lymph nodes) on April 28th and have daily radiation treatments until July

I remember how hard it was to even say the word "cancer" in association
with myself for the longest time. Its such a BIG scary word. Half the time
I felt like it was someone else going thru all this and I was watching a movie
or something-like I wouldn't let it sink in or be real. Other times I did
let it be real and I felt all that fear and overwhelming frustration with my

I have two young children, one will be 3 years old next month and
the other just turned 6 months old. For the first few months I was unable
to lift anything over 10lbs-which they both are. It felt like death was
being shoved right in my face not being able to hold my babies. But I
never gave up hope, never stopped relying on prayer and put it hard in my heart
that God was NOT done with me! I never lost my faith-in fact I leaned on
it more than I ever have before in my life and I know its what got me through
this chaos.

It literally feels like the world just kind of stops for
you-the rest of the world keeps on living while you are forced to make the
cancer a HUGE part of your life because you have to fight it. It is
exhausting and there are days when I say, "I just want to be done already. I'm
sick of being the person with cancer." Then I realize that its a lifetime
thing-I'm always gonna wonder if this lil twinge or that lil pain is the cancer
coming back. BUT I can also always be so thankful that I'm HERE, I'm
alive, I have my husband and my babies, I have LIFE and I have God.

I've met so many truly amazing and beautiful people since my diagnosis and I hope you find the same. They have all been sooo supportive and just lifted me
up. COMPLETE strangers, sometimes even people sending anonymous emails,
just to let me know they are praying or thinking of me. THAT got me through it-I
couldn't let all those people down, I HAD to fight-if not for God, if not for
me, if not for my husband and babies-for all the people that took a few minutes
to pray for me.

It has been a very humbling experience. I'm not one to ask for help or lean on others at all-I mean its literaly a big deal for me to ask my husband to help me reach something (I'm not even 5ft tall so its something I NEED help with but I just grew up not relying on others and doing everything for myself so I suck at asking for help). But my body just cannot do daily stuff sometimes so when people emailed me asking to provide dinner for my family for a few months until I got back up to par, I had to put aside my pride. And honestly, I couldn't do it without them. There are days when I get home from radiation and I just have NO energy at all. The last thing I can waste my energy on is worrying about dinner-I want to spend my time loving on my babies, asking my husband how is day was or just being with them. Its been a lifesaver. Right after my surgery, my husband's two aunts came and stayed for a whole month!!! Another lifesaver since most of that month there were days when I couldn't stay awake and active for more than an hour before I was exhausted and had to rest. I'm NOT the kind of person that lets others come in and take over or help out, so that was hard and there were days when I just wanted everyone to go away and everything to be "normal".

Hope that helps and know that I'm here if ya need to vent or have any random questions. If you don't mind, I'm going to FWD your email address to a friend whom was also recently diagnosed with breast cancer. That way you'll have someone who actually has the same kind. There are days you'll want someone to talk to that is going thru the EXACT same thing and other days when you just want someone that understands how cancer changes your life. I'm keeping you tucked in my prayers!

And I ALWAYS send my loooooong list of cancer sites that I've fallen in love with-yep I'm an info junkie and instantly go to the internet to get facts. So my favs (in no particular order):


American Cancer Society:

MD Anderson Cancer Center:

Highlands Oncology Group (for NWA patients, also very resourceful for all):

Planet Cancer:

Crazy Sexy Cancer (MUST read books!!):

Cancer Online Resources (compilation of TONS of sites):

Cancer Forums (online message boards):

For Working Women:


Cancer & the Christian Life:

Don't Waste Your Cancer (AWESOME article):


MD Anderson Cervical Cancer Treatment Guide (MUST read for cervical cancer patients and please share with your oncologist):

NARTI's info re: Cervical Cancer (NARTI is now Highlands Oncology Group):

ACS's Cervical Cancer Guide (AWESOME):

Eyes on the Prize (GYN cancers):

Guide to Coping with GYN Cancer:

Cervical Cancer Overview:

Monday, June 8, 2009

God's Greatest Medicine

We had a great weekend just hanging out and getting my energy back. I forgot how nice it was to feel semi-human:) I didn't realize how much the radiation had been zapping my energy and just making me feel like crud. Weekends are now just that much more appealing!!

God's Greatest Medicine=hanging out with my babies whom make my heart smile!!!

My sweet lil sunshine chica:) Daddy set up the water sprinkler outside so she could run thru it in her Little Mermaid swimsuit. That smile makes me feel so alive!!

Anytime I'm feeling down or yukky, I just go play with Mr. Man and I forget about all the bad stuff:) Seriously, I could bottle up this giggle and sell it to hospitals for some mega bucks- but I think I'll just be a lil greedy and keep him:) (That's Gramma holding him-she rocked last week and came out to the house EVERY day to help out since I still can't lift the Chunkster)

This is the "Bette Bed"-its around the apple tree in our backyard and was started with the peace lilies that my grpa gave me on Mother's Day last year (our first one without my Nana whose name is Bette). Then I added some caladiums because Nana always had them in her front yard when I was little. I also planted something else that I honestly can't remember so we'll just have to wait til it pops up LOL Ben added the bench for me this Mother's Day-I LOVE it!!!! Bella's sandbox is on the far left side.

Papa's peace lilies

Pop (Ben's dad) added these while he was here after my surgery:)

The Fired OB

Many people have either commented on the blog or emailed me regarding the OBGYN that I went to while I was pregnant with Hunter. While the paralegal in me would love to take her to court and let the attorneys tear it up, God has laid it heavy on my heart to just keep praying for her and for her patients. The paralegal in me also knows that it would be extremely unwise for me to mention her by name in a public forum such as this blog especially since there are people that do visit this blog that do happen to still be under this physician's care. If you would like more specific information (many have asked for the doctor's name so that they might avoid going to her clinic), please feel free to email me ( and I'll gladly share as much information as I can.

I've prayed about this long and hard, and God has just reminded me time and time again that all my energy right now needs to be focused on healing and keeping my strength focused on getting through radiation. Any energy I happen to have left over (oh I wish LOL), I want to save just for my babies and Ben. I already feel like they are getting the shaft big time when I can barely stay awake long enough for conversations after the kids go to bed, or energy during the day to play outside. I don't want to steal anymore from them and give it to worrying over a court case. When treatment is all completed and I get clear scans, I may consider finding an OBGYN trial expert to review my records and see if it would even be worth fighting, but I've been through a trial before-I've been that "victim/witness" on the stand that was torn to shreds by the defense attys and I saw what it did to my family as well. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy and definitely can't put my husband and kids through more than what they've already had to face through all of this. So its a big "We'll see", and until then, I'll just keep praying and being strong:)

God is good-we've got sunshine when its suppose to be storming!!!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

TONS of Pics

I FINALLY updated our family blog with a massive amount of pics

HUGEST Picture Update EVER!!!

Hrmmm yeah so I'm just a tad behind in updating this blog LOL God threw us a few curve balls so we've been a little busy kicking some cancer's butt ( Don't even think I haven't been taking pics-I have been, just haven't had time/energy to put them on here. So here we go.... and they are in reverse order so newest ones are first.

Teething monster that LOVES to be naked

Somewhere between the house and the park (below) I got a smudge on my lens but didn't notice because of the BEAUTIFUL bright sunshine!!! So here is a blurry lil mermaid (that puked in the kiddy pool and then said, "Pool please please please" when we had to wait 30 minutes for them to clean it out LOL)

Decorating her legs with sand

Daddy and Bella *attempting* to seesaw

My sweet lady getting some much needed outside playtime-thanking God for the sun FINALLY!!

Hunter's favorite toys are the balloons that Bella got for pottying

This is a typical afternoon at our house-Ben goes to say "hi" to Hunter and Bella runs in for the kill.... can't be stealing her Daddy time!!!

Even Bella is pitching in around the house LOL

Inspecting the plate so she can tell Daddy where it is dirty

"See Mama, I help!!!"

Poor Daddy-Bella can't stand it LOL

Hunter getting an old fashioned sink bath from Aunt Carolyn

"WHAT?!?! Mom, I'm NAKED!!!"

The aftermath of Bella trying to help Daddy water the flowers

Sweet boy playing outside

Sissy showing him how to spin the toys

I love my babies!!!! I love watching Bella and how much she has fun being a big sissy:)


Fat lil legs in his dino Robeez

"I don't need toys, Mama! God gave me fingers for a reason ya know!!"


Just hanging out

2nd favorite toys.... his toes

Forgot his dentures

I love you sweetest boy!!!

Chowing down in the nude (gotta love the snowman bib in the middle of May/June)

Bella actually let me put her hair in some messy pigtails and kept them in long enough for me to catch some evidence LOL

YUM gotta love baby cereal + formula + baby applesauce

Cheesy monkeys

Wonder how long they will happily play together?

Big shot sitting in his Bumbo

Poor kid never gets a minute away from the cameras

LOL she was screaming, "LOOK AT ME MISTER!!!"

lil circus tricks going on

Look at me!!!


Having a lil Sissy tummy time