We've got an answered prayer, folks!! I have been consistently (ok non-stop) praying that God would soften Ben's heart, open his eyes to God's will, and give me the words, patience and understanding to scoot Ben and I onto the same page-IF it is His will. So after having "adoption preggo brain" for the past week (thoughts and heart consumed with adoption dreams), doing lots of research and just praying that God would give me the words and the right moment to have a serious talk with Ben-we were finally able to talk last night (not that we don't normally talk, but without kids or any other distractions and just totally focus on adoption).
I just laid my heart out there and prayed he wouldn't think I had lost the few marbles I have left or totally reject the idea. Before last night, we had only really talked about adoption as a dream-not a reality that we would seriously pursue. He said, "YES!!" We are on the same page as far as wanting this child (the one God has already created just for us, and us for him/her-whether he/she already exists yet or not, God has designed our family as part of his plans).
More prayers are needed-few more areas to iron out:
WHEN...Even though we both agree that ultimately it is all in God's time and are so so so so grateful for that!! His timing is what brought Bella & Hunter into our hearts. Ben says 5-10 years and I won't lie-I nearly choked on my water I was laughing so hard!!! I say NOW. We'll see what the boss has in store! I have complete faith that when God knows our family is ready and our next child is ready, he will move the mountains.
WHERE...domestic vs. international, and if international, which specific country-we all know where my heart is LOL
WHO...though we both definitely agree that God already knows the who and will reveal it all in his time-we need him to guide us since boy vs. girl, age, etc. is all part of the application/referral process.
Just so thankful we were able to sit down and really talk it through and process where our hearts are and dream together. God blessed me so much by bringing Ben into my life and creating us specifically for each other, and building our family together. Makes me want to go grab some popcorn and just sit back and see what God has got in store for us!!!
PS-For those of you who are reading this and it is your first time to ever hear of this crazy awesome plan of ours, please just breathe, open your heart and know that this is not something we are taking lightly. We are not doing it tomorrow, it is most definitely something in the verrrrrry beginning stages and we are far from even beginning the application process. We aren't making any moves until we get our debt greatly reduced and are able to start saving more towards the adoption costs. I know we'll probably get alot of "you are crazy", "be thankful for the family you have", and other criticism-I've asked God to protect my heart and just pray that once you are able to process it all, that you'll understand and give this child nothing but love and acceptance just as you have done with Bella & Hunter. This is not a "project" or crazy "idea"-it is a child that is meant to be part of our family and I cannot wait to bring him/her home for all of us to just wrap up with love and happiness. Love you!!!